I know that he is playing with my feelings, and my mind feels bad about it. However, my feelings resonate to what he says, and they are attracted by his words, and so, I replied to calm him down, “Yes, I like Vanta. She is great, but I don’t think that it makes sense to talk about love. You know who she is and who I am.” Freddy seems to be pleased by my answer. He replies in an almost childish way, “It always makes sense to talk about love. Because love is all there is. I saw it, from the first day, that you fell in love with Vanta. You changed so much from the day we first met, after your first night with Vanta.” Then he shouts into the phone, “The sun was shining out of your ass after you fucked her.” A moment of silence occurred, and I didn’t know what to say.
“Don’t think badly about her fucking other men for cash. I know that you have a problem with that. But don’t get too irritated by that. She is a lady, who is eager to experience life. Take her as she is, and accept it. You fell in love with a pleasure lady. She won’t give up her fucking hobby. She loves to go out, and she loves men. She likes them as they are, and she even likes you.” My heart stopped beating once he said this, and in the same moment, I felt stupid as well. I felt naked, so naked that every part of my soul is transparent. I felt embarrassed, and couldn’t say a word.
“Oh my god, you are so communicative today – as if I am talking to my own fart.” He says, to start another monolog. But this time, I feel that he finally comes to the point. “I just wanted to tell you that I think I know how you can be close to Vanta. But you have to accept who she is, and that won’t be easy for you. She is still living with her mother. Her parents are divorced and so, she either stays at her father in Bangkok, or her mother in Pattaya. She hates that, and wants to move out. She told me that she feels like a little child at home, but wants to go out and party. She is frustrated, and wants to live her own life. But…” Here, he makes a long break before he goes on. “…she doesn’t want to rent her own flat. It would cost too much, and her family wouldn’t understand that.” Another moment of silence followed, but I already sensed what he would suggest. “But, if she could move into her boyfriend’s apartment, everything would be fine.”
I had my concerns after Freddy told me about the possibility to have Vanta move in my apartment. This would change my life significantly, as I would live again, in some kind of relationship – a strange relationship of course. A fat old guy, like me, lives together with a very young and very attractive hot girl, like Vanta. This was so odd and we didn’t fit together, at all. But, I couldn’t resist the thought that Vanta would be around me, all the time. This thought excited me so much that I even ignored the shadows from the past. The pain I felt, since the relationship with Hannah broke, and the immense horror when we went through divorce.