I love porn (1/2)

I always liked pornography but was never honest to myself about it. As a young boy, I started to use nude magazines to stimulate myself. I remember how excited I became when I found a Playboy magazine at my barber. While I was waiting for my haircut, I accidentally picked up the magazine and looked inside. I was immediately blown away by the beautiful girls that were presented in the magazine. All my concentration was focusing on the magazine, and the barber had to call my name several times to get my mind back to his boring barbershop. From that day, I fell in love with beautiful women. Not in the real world, but those women in the magazines.

The real world looked much more frustrating to me. Vanta calls me Fat Man now. However, if she would have known me in my youth, she would have called me Fat Boy. As I already was fat in my childhood. Consequently, girls were not interested in me. This again, let my desire for women even grow more, and I had no other chance to satisfy myself with all kinds of nude magazines. Even, I always felt very embarrassed to buy those magazines; my desire for naked women was bigger. The excitement I felt by looking through a newly bought magazine was too great, and I couldn’t resist and keep on buying more.
Also, I liked masturbating on those nude models, however, I also felt bad about it. It was not the real stuff, and society looked down on men who were masturbating. It was not openly discussed, but it was clear that those magazines were dirty, and people who bought them were dirty too. I also tried to stop buying nude magazines, but sooner or later, my desire grew to a level that I had to go to the shop and buy them again. I was fat and felt dirty, but still needed those images of sexy women to satisfy my needs. I thought that would be already bad enough, but things got worse by the time, as I needed dirtier material.

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