She shouted and the people surrounding us seemed to get pushed away by her screams. But how was that possible? It was too late. A man came by with a plastic box. He handled it very fast as he knew such kind of situations. He put something on my head. Maybe that should stop the bleeding?
But what was it good for? Somehow I asked god to let me die. Didn’t I want it all the time? Didn’t I asked many times to let me die. Here I am – dead. So what was it good for. I felt something. I felt lips. I felt something with my lips. How was that possible. How could I feel my lips. It was a kiss.
Vanta laid over my loose head that stopped bleeding. She kissed my lips and I could feel it. But there was more. I felt love. Her love was flowing through my dead body. He still seemed to be warm. Something still seemed to be alive. Some organs still seem to work. It became dark again. Something was still alive, but I was not sure what it was. Maybe my penis? Maybe I could die and my penis would still life on.
But it was not my penis. It was my hart. My hart was still beating. I could feel it. My lips first and now my hart. My hart wanted to stay. It wanted to go on with my life. But didn’t I want to leave? But my hart wanted to stay.
The darkness disappeared. I could see something. But not through the helicopter view of a bird. I could see through my real eyes. I saw black hair – Vanta’s hair. Her lips still kissed mine. First she didn’t realise that I watched her, only after a while she felt it. Her lips left mine and she looked at my eyes. She was not sure if they were open or not. I guess, I could only open them a bit.
“Fat Man, are you there? Did you come back to me?” she asked. No I didn’t, I wanted to say. But my hard didn’t allowed it. My lips moved a bit, but I didn’t spoke a word. But then again I realised how wrong I was. I was wrong the second time today. I didn’t want to leave anymore. Something changed in Pattaya. Something deep in my life changed. I am eager to know about this world again. Not my old world, but my new world with a little sexy girl. Now my lips moved and created words again. Words I never spoke before with this deep meaning “I love you Vanta” and then I prayed to god that he may let me live.