Arriving at Pattaya Beach I just could catch the sunset. It was beautiful that day. I think it was the most beautiful sunset I ever had in Pattaya. The world was not so bad after all.
But I was wrong about everything. I thought there was no specific reason that my life past in front of my eyes that day. I was so happy that this day past without any pain. But I was blind and ignorant. It didn’t pass that way without a reason – it never does. Nothing happens in life without a reason.
The stroke that woke me up and make me realise how wrong I was, came from something heavy and hard that hit my head. Everything become black immediately and the darkness brought the clearness. The clearness about my life. About why my life passed in front of my eyes that day. It suppose to be the last day and this is what happens on your last day. I was so blind not to see it. But now I saw it. I clearly saw it, out of the dark.
A clear picture appeared. I could see myself. Myself lying on the beach after I received the stroke on my head. I must have been fallen from the promenade and landed at the beach. It was clearly me. A fat white guy laying on the beach. Not like on holiday, but as he was fallen and could not stand up anymore.
There was more… A dark red puddle of blood appeared around my head. I must have lost a lot of blood. But it was O.K.. I didn’t felt bad about it at all. No, it was the way it had to be. It was the reason I came to the this place. Pattaya the place of my death. The place where I became really free. First during real life and then during my death. It was O.k., nothing to be sad about it. I lived my life and had enough – enough from that world.
Some people realised what happened and I could watch the scene like a bird from above. It was not far away from my eyes. Some people stopped and looked at the fat guy who was bleeding at the beach. But nobody really reacted, besides starring at my dead body.