Love is great, however it leaves when there is no life. Only where life exists can be love. Fucking is life and it seems to fill the hole. Now I love Vanta and have a lot of fucking. Watching Vanta getting fucked by another man gives me greater pleasure than seeing another woman. Because I love Vanta and so I am emotionally more attached to her which creates more intensive feelings.
Sometimes I think that all kind of people are like me and enjoy watching their loved ones having sex with someone else. But some men cannot handle the extreme and intense energy that is created inside themselves. Besides the fact that a world is falling apart for them when their partner cheats on them, they don’t know what to do with all the energy that they experience. I mean all that sexual energy that developed inside them.
Michael is just experiencing this energy. It also took him a while to let his wife go and work as bar girl again. It was a process for him as well and probably not an easy one. I mean for me he looked just fine and as he is enjoying himself, however I guess inside himself things are not looking as bright. I don’t think he is experiencing the same thing then I did.
However I am certain that life is teaching him something. He told me that Da always complained that she didn’t had enough money and that she gave him the feeling of not being enough. Maybe that was true and maybe he wasn’t even enough. At the end he is an old fart. Even older than I am. Why should a young attractive women like Da be satisfied with him? Why should he be enough for her. Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t. Maybe she loves him, maybe she doesn’t. I don’t know that, but I know that nobody really can define this. There is no standard or even a measurement of that. We think one woman equals one man. We think both are the same, but of course they aren’t. They are very different human beings with very different backgrounds.