But that was all the fun I had that night. Most of the other things went wrong. Once she returned from the bathroom, she didn’t want to make any pictures anymore. No nude pictures and no porn pictures at all. She seems not to remember that she agreed to it. As I already paid her bar fine and her fee, I was angry too.
After some bad discussions, we agreed that I could fuck her twice to get at least some of the service I paid for. It was O.K., but not what I wanted. After she left, my penis was really down and I had no interest in sex anymore. My depressions came back. Again I had to think about all the things I wanted to forget. But this time it was worse. The bad experience I made with the girl, made me feel even worse. Everything could be ending in seconds, I thought. If I just would drop my fat body over the balcony. I felt like I already lived too long. At least long enough and I did what I had to do and I experienced enough in my life. Most of all, I experienced a lot of shit in my life. That’s how I felt. Like a piece of shit that already lived too long. This night seemed to be endless and only in the early morning I was exhausted enough that I could sleep.
The next day I felt terrible. I had not gotten enough sleep and the depressions were back. I was helpless against them and didn’t know how to deal with them. It took until the early afternoon before the idea of masturbation came to my mind again. I felt no need for sex, but ignored it and tried to watch the movies from that Thai Porn Website I bought. It took a while until I got horny, but once I was hard, I felt much better. I focused on the women that got fucked and minute by minute I became better. By dinner time, I was O.K. I was strong enough for another hunt. This time I choose my old pilotage area – the Beach Promenade. It went really well. After a couple of minutes, I found a girl for a blow job. She said she had no problem to get filmed. We went to the hourly hotel. It was the same like the other nights.
To be continued in Fat Man in Asia – Coming in Pattay
The above story was taken out of the following book. Press on the link find out more!